Human beings are internally programmed to repeat habits over and over in their lives. But how does that inbred habit behavior translate to who we are dating? Are we prone to picking the same person over and over? Do you even realize its happening? What are your dating constants? And if so, how can we break these habits for something brand new?
Lets start be acknowledging that there is a potential pattern to what we are doing. I would suggest sitting down and writing out a list of the last handful of people you’ve been involved with. Then write down what you liked and disliked about them. Now here is the hard part. Write down, with just a few statements, the reasons you broke it off. I encourage you to resist going into too much detail, as it will skew the outcome of what we are trying to see. Now ask yourself, do you see a pattern? Did you break up for the same reasons? Or how about in the ‘ballpark’ of the same reasons?
While I know this next step may be a traumatic event for some, write down your own contributing factors to the relationship and the breakup. Are you behaving the same way? Perhaps the same bad habits seem to be following you from person-to-person, making it seem like its the same relationship. While every relationship has its own ‘things’, most of us will probably make some cardinal mistakes:
1. You Keep meeting people the same way - So maybe the nightclub or local pub aren’t the best locale to meet that quality mate. But for some reason, we keep going back there to meet the next potential relationship. Why? Changing locations to more comfortable or socialable venues is sure to change the type of person you meet. Another common meetup method is in social media. While there are lots of online dating businesses, they aren’t always the best way to meet the right person. I am a firm believer that paths should naturally cross, allowing the connection to happen gradually. Sometimes, the perfect algorithm is not the same as the perfect relationship.
2. You bring old habits/ideas from the past relationship to the new one. - Everyone has their own way of doing things, thats the beauty of being human. But when it comes to relationships, we could stand to stop bringing old habits into the new situation. Treating him/her in a specific fashion, just because it worked or didn’t work is a sure fire way to make the new person not feel unique or special.
3. You fail to address the past properly, causing the same issue with the new person.
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