Alicia Keys wrote a song called “How come you don’t call me?”, vocalizing some of the thoughts we all have as women when the guy we like doesn’t reach out. If men only knew what that does to us. You are just getting to know a guys, maybe a few dates, and it seems like he just doesn’t reach out to you enough. He doesn’t call regularly, texts seem to be scarce or uninvested, and you often feel like the ‘chaser’ instead of the ‘chasee’. What should you do? Here are a few ideas to help you keep your sanity:
1. Stop being so available - So nature and history will tell you that men like to be conquerers. They want to chase and hunt their prey, no matter what type of circumstances. Cavemen chased their dinner, modern men chase their women. But when something becomes too easy to accquire, its now not fun anymore. Men, subconsciously, want to chase the girl, keeping the mystery alive as much as possible. Once they feel that the door is always open, the intrigue is gone and they are less likely to try. So become less available and watch him sweat for you a little more.
2. Make other plans - Sitting around waiting for a guy to call is one of the worse ways to torture yourself. Keep yourself occupied with your own life and responsibilities. Make time to see friends and family, and to also keep yourself available for another potential date with another more attentive guy. I am a firm believer that you should ever stop your life for anyone that doesn’t show they want to be in it.
3. When the time comes, be direct with him - Nothing is worse than playing games in a relationship. Whenever you do talk with him, let him know you didn’t appreciate his lack of attention. Let him know that you are hoping to have more with him and ask him to be direct about what he thinks of the relationship. If he wants to have a relationship, he will understand and try to meet your needs. If he does not want more from you, then girl, move on.
When it comes to the need to hear from him, remember girls, you should be be the one that has him calling you. Ladies, let the man do the work, you are worth it. He needs to know that having you in his life is a special thing, and that you are worth the effort to pursue.